Monday, August 22, 2011

Academic Meeting Minutes - PART I

 Minutes for the College Library’s Ad Hoc Committee to Determine the Viability of the Formation of a Flash Mob Prevention Committee for FYE 2012*

August 12, 2010                               

Ms. T. Ina Klingworth (TIK), Assistant Scataloguing Librarian – chair 
Mr. Arnold Seeward, Senior (ASS), University Alchemist – vice chair
Dr. Oleg Orkin Lilydale (DrOOL), Speech & Communications Librarian - member       
Mr. Jollee O. England (JOE), English Literature Librarian – member
Mr. Roy O. Scuttler, Senior (ROSS), Palaeontology Librarian - member          
Ms. Joy Ryde – (JR) guest, agenda item 4, Leader of CHEERS (Committee for Having Exciting  Events at Random by Students)
Ms. Marla Eubanks (ME), Library Intern– member
Ms. Ima Malingerer (IM), Rare Books and Diseases Librarian – minutes secretary (ill)


1.       Opening
The chairwoman (TIK) opens the meeting at 10.15 hrs. The TIK requests ME to volunteer her services to take the minutes. ME declines. The TIK reminds ME that she has had very little to offer the group in the 4 previous meetings and that it might be in her best interest to take some initiative on such an important committee such as this one. Much to her chagrin, ME accepts this responsibility having had no prior experience or previous understanding of how to perform such a task. She expresses these exact sentiments to the group, only to be met with blank stares. 
The TIK welcomes and introduces Ms. Joy Ryde, who will give a presentation at agenda item 4. Ms. Ryde returns a welcome back to the committee with an enthusiastic fist pump and one hard clap.

2.       Announcements and documents received

  • DrOOL  signals for silence and writes the following on the room’s whiteboard, “I would like to announce that for reasons that are too difficult to communicate to you all at this time, I have lost my voice.” DrOOL stops and looks at the committee members. He pauses and erases the board, then writes, “Let’s just suffice it to say that this has been a very traumatic time for me and Petey’s Sweet Time, but I feel your love as we get through this all together.“
  • The TIK announces that given DrOOL’s announcement she believes that consideration of a card or gift for Petey’s Sweet Time be added to the agenda.
  • ROSS calls for a motion to add the item to the agenda. 5 votes pass the motion including one from DrOOL by writing “Yea” on the whiteboard. ASS is the only member to vote against the motion.
  • JOE announces that he does not know what Petey’s Sweet Time is. DrOOL erases the whiteboard and draws a crude picture of a horse in the center of a heart. Above the picture he writes, “Petey’s Sweet Time = Best Miniature Horse This Side of...” DrOOL draws two long squiggly lines running parallel to each other. He then writes, “Mississippi” and draws an arrow from “Mississippi” towards the squiggly lines.
  • JOE announces that for Pete’s sake he would like to change his vote to a, “Neigh Nay.” (JOE and ME high five across the table.) The motion to add the item to the agenda now passes 4 to 2. 

*I found these minutes at the bottom of a drawer when I switched offices earlier this year. Oddly, I cannot find a record of any of the librarians mentioned as ever having worked in this library. Curious. (I'll post the remainder next week.)

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